Tuesday was rough.
It was my own fault, really. But rough nonetheless.
After my first ultrasound, I bought a 3-pack of home pregnancy tests. I had two weeks to wait until the big u/s, at which we hoped to see the babies’ heartbeats, and I knew I’d be anxious in the interim. Taking the HPTs, I figured, would reassure me that the pregnancy was progressing. I “scheduled” them at 4-day intervals to pass the time until the u/s.
On Tuesday, for a variety of reasons (anxiety being one of them? Me? No!), I moved Friday’s u/s up to Wednesday (with the blessing of one of the nurses, of course). And then, even though I had less than 24 hours to wait, I figured I might as well use that last damn stick as planned.
The second line appeared, but far, far lighter than all the others had been. Lighter than the control line. Lighter than my already fragile nerves could handle.
I called the nurses’ line hoping for reassurance. A “Don’t worry, the darkness of the line is irrelevant,” perhaps, or a “Those tests aren’t quantitative” or even a simple “I’m sure everything is just fine.”
Instead, I got “You’re 7 weeks pregnant. Why would you do that?” Followed closely by “Do you feel any different?”
At which point I started to hyper-analyze every symptom (or lack thereof) and decided aloud that, actually, my boobs weren’t as sore as they had been. “And now I’m starting to hyper-analyze every symptom,” I told the nurse.
“Well, don’t do that,” she said. (Um … but didn’t you kind of just tell me to?)
I asked if I could come in that day for the u/s, but the u/s techs were already gone (at 10:45 a.m.? Huh?) and she could really only send me down to the main hospital for an u/s if it was an emergency. Which this wasn’t.
“Why don’t you pick up a book and try and pass the time until your appointment tomorrow?” she offered.
Riiiiiiiiight.
Needless to say, Tuesday was a very, very, very long day. Excruciatingly long. And of course devoid of sore boobs and nausea, which made it feel even longer. I was certain something — everything — had gone wrong.
I slept fitfully and woke before my alarm on Wednesday morning. The Boy and I arrived 25 minutes early for our appointment. “How are you?” asked the u/s tech. “Very anxious,” I said. I blurted out the HPT mess, still hoping — even as she prepared the u/s wand — for some reassurance. Nothing.
And then.
And then in the dark room came the flicker of a heartbeat. And another. And suddenly we were looking at two live babies, with heart rates of 133 and 136, both measuring exactly on track at 6w6d. And the anxiety — at least for that brief moment — melted away.
And now I can say this: there will be no home pregnancy tests in my house again, ever. Acupuncture, yoga, meditation, walks around the neighborhood, screaming into a pillow … I will find other ways to deal with my anxiety. Those sticks will not be one of them.
Oh my .. I about had a heart attack reading it, I can’t imagine what you were going through! Thanks for sharing b/c if I’m lucky enough to get PG, I will not have sticks in my house either! So happy all is well, try to relax. ha ha ha! (j/k)
Ohhhh…those darn HPT’s. They are soooo addicting….but your nurse is right…they are not quantitative and those lines can be darker or lighter each time even with the same urine sample….so glad you got the u/s though and saw those beautiful heartbeats. Can’t wait to hear more about your wonderful pregnancy!
There is a scientific basis for this phenomena. It happens with all kinds of tests – not just hpt’s. The more of what is being tested for that is in the sample, the lower the result once a certain threshold is reached. So in other words, the higher your hcg (once it reaches a threshold of about 30,000 or more) the lighter that test line will start to become. I got a lighter line at beta of over 100,000 than I did with a beta of 1hundred something using the same test and brand. I had to add 4 cups of water to the sample to get the test line a decent shade of dark. Undiluted it was extremely pale. So relax – a faint line at this stage of the game is actually great news! This is why testing after beta is so high is pointless. If one’s beta gets ridiculously high (we’re talking 200,000 or much higher) the test will actually come up negative unless it is diluted 10 parts water to 1 part urine.
I should have added that I approached this scientifically just for a fun experiment. I had heard about the “hook effect” which causes the test line to get lighter and lighter and eventually disappear entirely the higher and higer teh hcg level got. So knowing my hcg was over 100,000 I tested with very concentrated first morning urine. All tests were done with First Response brand. Test one was 8 oz of urine and was paler than my first hpt when I had 1hundred something hcg. I then added 8oz of water to the 8 oz of urine. Test line was slightly darker. Then I added 8 oz more of water to the 16oz mix and test was even darker. Then I added another 8 oz of water and test was much darker. Then I added 8 oz more to the sample (the sample was now a total of 40 ounces!) and it was a bit darker than the one prior. I could actually see the color and darkness progression on the tests. It was fascinating!
Ok, I’m a year late to this post, but I just HAD to write because this same exact thing happened to me! I’d had my first u/s at 6 weeks 1 day, and baby measured 3 days behind and slightly slow heart rate. I was told to come back in about a week. a few days later my pregnancy symptoms felt much, much less. I panicked and took a FRER. I’d been taking them about once a week even after positive beta. This one came out lighter than the previous ones, and it was with first morning urine! The test line was still darker than control line, but just barely on this one. I totally panicked. I had my u/s later that day at 6 weeks 6 days and everything looked ok, with strong heartbeat. Still feeling nervous, but the u/s helped me feel better, as did seeing this post!!!
Oh. My. God.
I am 6w6d today. Took a pregnancy test with FMU and the test line was LIGHTER than the control. This is after a test with lemonade-colored pee four days ago basically showed a black test line in comparison to the pink test line.
After a miscarriage scare, then seeing the baby with heartbeat yesterday, I am understandably jittery. Your blog post saved me – SAVED ME – today.
Thank you, and congratulations on those beautiful babies.
[…] Yogi, I hope you come back here. I want you to read this blog I just found. Also read the comments below the blog entry. These are real women with the same stories. It is quite fascinating. What they are saying is that once you hit the threshold of 30,000 the lines start to get lighter! Please read. Maybe it will make you feel better. https://timetomakeababy.wordpress.com…hpt-free-zone/ […]
I’m not sure how old this post is but its saving my life right now I’m in that exact same situation. Going in tomorrow for more blood work. Im 6 weeks 5 days. Praying to god everything is okay.